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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
How To Eat Red Meat And Run Ravenously
Quite a while ago (a little over a year now…) I declared that I was (mostly) quitting eating red meat and pork. Food documentaries and health concerns had me convinced that I just didn’t need it. And I made it an entire year. I didn’t avoid red meat or pork completely (the only pork I really eat is ham and bacon – I don’t like pork chops). Once in a great while I just want a steak, or a burger, or bacon, so I eat it. But I didn’t plan it into my weekly meal plans.
Then a couple of weeks ago I noticed I was getting a lot of dizzy spells. I thought it was blood pressure – so I checked, it wasn’t that. I thought it was dehydration, so I started really forcing myself to be more diligent about my water consumption – it wasn’t that either. I mentioned it to a coworker and she said it could be an iron deficiency. So last week I started to make sure I take my multivitamin every day, I have been making smoothies with spinach, and I ate red meat once (after mentioning that I needed it, the bf made me tacos for dinner in an effort to get me to eat the red meat, and it worked, I do love tacos.) While grocery shopping the other day I saw a package of 6 pre-made beef sliders in the meat department at Trader Joes. I only thought about it for a minute or two before picking them up.
It turns out that large amounts of exercise can in fact lower your iron levels – not something a woman really wants to worry about. Given that I’ve been working out a lot harder than my body is used to, I am willing to bet that lots of workouts combined with iron deficiency were the cause of my dizzy spells, because they’ve subsided.
That had me a tad bit scared so I’m glad I got it figured out pretty quickly!
Other awesome things lately? I’m RUNNING AGAIN! I took 23 whole days off of running, and when I came back to it, this is what happened:
I honestly thought I was crawling – the path I run on was snowy and icy in spots so I was being very cautious of my footing. I kept my Garmin under the sleeve of my coat the entire time so I had no idea how quickly I was moving until I was done – boy was I shocked.
Compared to a 5 mile run that the bf and I did back on December 22nd – 8:44 average pace which felt hard toward the end. Well the bf did tell me that all this kettlebell stuff was going to make me a stronger runner, but I had no idea it would happen that quickly.
Now I’m going to try to run at least 3 times per week in order to get ready for Reach the Beach in May – but I’m also still going to keep up my kettlebell workouts as well.
I am looking forward to seeing how much faster and I stronger I continue to get!
Have you ever taken a hiatus from running to focus on strength and come back and surprised yourself like I did? Let us know on social media by sharing this article with the #FrugalFitness hashtag!
I hope you enjoyed this article about how to live healthier on a frugal budget and maximize your performance!
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- 10 Reasons Why You Aren't Seeing Muscle Gains
- Just How Natural Is Natural Bodybuilding?
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Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Free Workouts & Nutrition On A Budget
"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
#FrugalFitness
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Frugal Fruit Gone Wrong: Double Banana!!
Is this a naturally occurring abnormality
or the result of genetic engineering gone wrong?!?
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or the result of genetic engineering gone wrong?!?
I don't know but I'm not eating it, even if it was free!
I hope you enjoyed this article about how to live healthier on a frugal budget and maximize your performance!
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness?
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Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
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"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
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The Twinkie Diet WTF?
Contributed by Courtney Horan, Author of the healthy living blog Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life.
So yesterday afternoon, a co-worker of mine brought an article to my attention that I immediately had to check out; as soon as I read it, I thought it would be rather interesting to share with all of you this morning…
Turns out, there is a man who decided to follow a 10-week diet that consisted mainly of this stuff:
Yes my friends, that is Twinkies.
Instead of eating regular meals, Mark Haub, a professor at Kansas State University, ate snacks consisting of Twinkies, Little Debbie Snack Cakes, and other convenience store “treats” every three hours.
The information that followed in the article was rather interesting:
His premise: That in weight loss, pure calorie counting is what matters most — not the nutritional value of the food.The premise held up: On his “convenience store diet,” he shed 27 pounds in two months.
No joke.
Granted, there was one underlying factor in his “class project” that played a huge part in his results: he limited himself to less than 1,800 calories a day. A man of his size should normally consume 2,600 calories in a day.
But even still, I continued to become more intrigued as I read through the rest of the article:
- His BMI dropped from 28.8 – 24.9.
- His “bad” cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his “good” cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent.
- He reduced the level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent.
Although Haub took a multivitamin pill, drank a protein shake daily, and ate vegetables (i.e., a can of green beans or 3-4 celery stalks), 2/3 of his total intake of food came entirely from junk food. Take a look at a “sample day” for Haub during this experiment:
Espresso, Double: 6 calories; 0 grams of fat
Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat
Centrum Advanced Formula From A To Zinc: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat
Little Debbie Star Crunch: 150 calories; 6 grams of fat
Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat
Diet Mountain Dew: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat
Doritos Cool Ranch: 75 calories; 4 grams of fat
Kellogg’s Corn Pops: 220 calories; 0 grams of fat
whole milk: 150 calories; 8 grams of fat
baby carrots: 18 calories; 0 grams of fat
Duncan Hines Family Style Brownie Chewy Fudge: 270 calories; 14 grams of fat
Little Debbie Zebra Cake: 160 calories; 8 grams of fat
Muscle Milk Protein Shake: 240 calories; 9 grams of fat
Totals: 1,589 calories and 59 grams of fat
Although Haub never commits to saying whether the “Twinkie Diet” is neither healthy or unhealthy, he does admit to the fact that this is not a healthy way of living and eating. Thank goodness Mr. Professor. My stomach was churning after reading just a quarter of one of your sample days. Yikes! 
While the premise of the article I found to be somewhat interesting, there are some overwhelming facts that hopefully anyone can see: The man significantly cut his recommended daily calories…OF COURSE he’s going to lose weight!!!
If you’d like to check out the full article, you can click here.
In a world full of cheap fast-food fare, convenience store treats, and on-the-go families, I’m sure there is more of this type of eating going on than we’d like to admit. Also unfortunate, is that I’m sure there are probably people who will read this article and think, “Gee, that sounds like a great idea! Eat a diet full of empty calories and I can lose weight!”
But hopefully, as you read through this article the same thoughts crossed your mind, as they did mine:
- This is just GROSS!
- It is definitely no way to eat!
- Bring on the fruits, veggies, whole grains…and peanut butter!
Ok…maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to one zebra cake. We are all about a healthy,balanced lifestyle here, right? 
Edited to add: If you’re interested in reading more on the side effects of how one girl felt after eating similar foods for one week, check out my latest post,
“The Big Junk Food Test“
I hope you enjoyed this article about how to live healthier on a frugal budget and maximize your performance!
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness?
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Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Free Workouts & Nutrition On A Budget
"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
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Meat Heads
 "It's Not A Tumor!" -Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kindergarden Cop  |
| Oh Yeah, Pickin Up All The Ladies Tonight with my Sweet Orange Spray Tan! |
Rockstar Lifestyle!
BANG BANG!
So I don't consider myself a gym rat, but I do workout like four days a week. I'm there for an hour or so, get in a solid workout, mind my own business, then leave. I do have a habit of eavesdropping and laughing, on the inside of course (most of the time anyway), at those typical gym-ophites. You know, the fat old guy with short shorts who does like 3 curls with weights that are way to heavy for him, the twenty something chick with fake blonde hair that sits on the hip flexor machine in an attempt to work those pornstar muscles, the skinny emo-looking kid who is trying to be sort of cool, etc. etc.
However - the other day, I encountered evil incarnate. While I usually just think big meatheads are kind of funny because they are too dumb to use words appropriately, I overheard two of these creatures talking and almost lost my lunch.
First of all, let me set the scene. One kid is at the gym everyday - what the f*ck do you do with your life? You're not a personal trainer and you're probably too dumb to get an office job or even be a bartender. He talks really loud, mostly to himself, he lifts his shirt up and sort of twirls it around (are you a fucking ballerina, you shithead?), and he struts around with this swagger that makes it look like he has a cinder block shoved up his ass.
So, the conversation went as follows - let us name the culprit described above as Rex (because he too has a brain the size of a walnut).
Rex: (Looks in the mirror, flexes) "ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE BABY! YEAH!"
Goon: "Man, if I come here everyday with you like this, I'm gunna just like lay someone the f*ck out if they like, ya know, like look at my funny or somethin'. "
Rex: "Wait what?"
Goon: "If someone like looks funny at me I'm gunna like lay 'em out."
Rex: "Man, like you'll get like arrested for that shit. You know what I'd do? I'd like steal stuff."
Hold up. Did this stupid mother-f*cker just tell his friend that he couldn't hit someone and then proceed to say he would choose to steal things? What a f*cking idiot. I think I was probably on the verge of barely having the ability to retain memory when I learned that stealing was bad. How stupid do you have to be to say something this moronic? Pretty f*cking stupid. This f*cktard must have either come from replicated amoebic pond sludge, was alienated from his primate colony for lack of hair, or was created for the soul purpose of establishing a minimum requirement for brain power.
Guys like REX are NOT the man. Please, please, please - if you emulate this sh*t-brained moron, for the love of God, stop. Acting like this will get you two things: a white trash girlfriend that either has two kids that are like 3/4 of her age and eventually condemn you to a life of mediocrity as you slowly deteriorate while your wife blimps to a fat sh*t that sits around eating Big Macs and Watching Days of Our Lives, or you will simply die at the young age of 40 via some sort of deer antler supplement poisoning. Sorry, but we won't deny that you didn't deserve it.Fellas - get fit, get jacked, get ripped, get huge. Don't act like a gigantic f*ckface. It's not a difficult formula. Hot women like guys in good shape. What hot women like more are guys in good shape with brains and style. Look at Daniel Craig. Women brainf*cked 007 when he got out of his Armani tux and into his bathing suit. Would they react similarly if he put a retarded smile on his face to complement his faux-hawk, twirled his shirt, and talked to himself as he was waving around his I-pod that just happened to be playing "Birthday Sex"? I think not.
 |
| I'm so friggin cool right now! Lips! |
I hope you enjoyed this article about how to live healthier on a frugal budget and maximize your performance!
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness?
Read My Posts:
Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Free Workouts & Nutrition On A Budget
"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
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Fitness Humor: The Harsh Truth About Exercise
Someone Emailed This To Me, Pretty Funny and Has Some Good Points. Enjoy :)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around themiddle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
AND....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
I hope you enjoyed this article about how to live healthier on a frugal budget and maximize your performance!
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness?
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Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Free Workouts & Nutrition On A Budget
"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's Best Acting!
The Governator's Chilling Portrayal of Mr. Freeze in Batman
I hope you enjoyed this article how to get healthier in the new year and avoid negatively affecting your physical or mental performance.
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness for a better you?
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Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Also visit the Bootstrap Business Ideas
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness Media
Also visit Bootstrap Business & Read The $10 Digital Media Startup eBook or Article Series. Buy on Amazon. Advertise with us.
For More Great Tips, Get My Best-Seller On Amazon:
I hope you enjoyed this article how to get healthier in the new year and avoid negatively affecting your physical or mental performance.
Interested in more articles about frugal fitness for a better you?
Read My Posts:
Stay Frugal & Fit My Friends!
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness
Free Workouts & Nutrition On A Budget
"Crushing Fitness Costs Worldwide"
@iFrugalFitness
Also visit the Bootstrap Business Ideas
Frugal Fitness World Wide Wellness Media
Also visit Bootstrap Business & Read The $10 Digital Media Startup eBook or Article Series. Buy on Amazon. Advertise with us.
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